My bittersweet Thanksgiving

While I’m super excited for Thanksgiving weekend and all the fun family traditions we have, it’s also bittersweet.  Since I was pregnant, and even after Aaden arrived, I knew I would be returning to work after the Thanksgiving weekend.  With Aaron’s work schedule and school schedule, we thought it would be perfect timing.  He’s be finishing up with landscaping for the season, have three weeks of school and then graduating.  He’d spent his winter being a stay at home daddy and looking for a different job that was more related to his field of study (with better hours!).  But the landscaping gig would be the back-up plan, although a not very appealing one...

With Aaden born August 31^st, I felt I missed out on seeing summer come to an end.  Labor Day weekend (and the following 2 weeks) was spent at the hospital in a daze.  The first month was a blur.  Feedings, diaper changes, sleepless nights and vistors.  I blinked and I had a baby and fall was here.  I remember thinking, well I have a good month or two left to enjoy every moment with my little man.  And now that time has come and gone too.  I have a beautiful, healthy, happy boy to show for it, but other than that, I’m not sure where the time went.  I have memories and moments that I cherish, but I feel like I almost took the time for granted.  With my 12 week leave almost done, I feel like I’m running out of time to really “be in the moment” and enjoy my time with Aaden. 

All along, whenever anyone mentioned a date or time that came after Thanksgiving, all I could think of was, “I’ll be back to work then.”  A brief feeling of anxiousness would accompany that thought, and then I’d breathe a sigh of relief knowing it was X number of weeks away.  It almost felt like time would stop once we hit that moment.  It was hard to comprehend that the time would actually arrive, and that I would be a working mom! 

I’m thankful that I’ve been working one or two days a week this whole leave.  This will help me get back into the swing of things faster, and I think it will be easier to be there too.  I’m perfectly comfortable leaving Aaden with his Daddy for the day, while I’ll be jealous, I know they will have many fun days together bonding.  I’m thankful that I don’t have to come to terms with bringing him to daycare yet, and that we can financially afford for Aaron to stay at home with him.  I’m lucky I got 12 weeks off (paid), and that my boss and company have been so flexible with my time.  I’m extremely thankful that even though I start back FT on Monday, for the following three weeks I will only be working till noon two days a week, so I can be home when Aaron runs to class. 

This maternity leave has really been perfect.  I’ve had ample time with my little man, been able to get out of the house one day a week to help out at the office, and I get the flexibility to ease back into work.  While it’s still hard to imagine that time won’t stop on Monday and I will have to learn to think beyond just “that’s when I’ll be back at work,” I really think Monday will be easier than I’m making it out to be.  Especially since I’m only working till noon!

I’m both excited for and dreading our new normal.  We’ve moved past the every 3 hour feedings, the hospital stay and the emotional rollercoaster of having a new baby and figuring out our new roles as Mom and Dad. I just started to feel like I’m finally getting the hang of things and finding time to get other projects done, its time to go back to work.  I guess I understand maternity leave better now that I ever did.  You get the time off you need to settle in, but once you’ve got a grasp on it, it starts over again as you begin to try to balance work and the rest of your new life.  I still vouch that I could never be a stay at home mom, but I also would love more time at home to watch my baby grow up!  I guess I will just learn to enjoy every moment while at home with my boys, but also cherish my time and role at work and that I’m able to provide for my family. 

No post is complete without a few pictures!

Multi-tasking at it's best.  Putting together monthly financials while home and snuggling with the little guy!

He's getting so big!

 

Aric, Aaden's uncle and godfather came by for one more visit before heading back to Montana.  We're not sure when we'll see him next, maybe April?  Aaden will be a much bigger boy then!!